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October 11, 2012
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you get told you're beautiful by a stranger
they whisper
"take me home"

they won't remember your name this time
they never do

she smiles and tells you that it's okay
you can let go sometimes

you won't remember her in the morning
but when your head hits the pillow
when you try to get to sleep for the first time in a long time
you can smell her shampoo

you sleep
for the first time in a long time

(you met them outside a starbucks
they were wearing chains on their skinny jeans
and had hair sweeping over their eyes
holding them shut

they held the door open for you when you walked in
you sat and had coffee a table away
until they invited you over to sit with them
you didn't know if you were supposed to talk

they won't remember anything you said anyway
but they'll remember the way it made them feel)

you're in bed on a saturday morning
you barely slept during the night
the scent of her shampoo is almost non-existent

you walk to the local convenience store
and buy some strawberry flavoured chapstick from the stand on the counter
just so you can remember what it was like to kiss her

you don't remember her name any more
but you remember how she made you feel
you remember the way she walked
the way she spoke and how she didn't laugh when words fell out of your mouth

you think of how short your time together felt
how numb you feel now
how it seems like all she was was a drunken one night stand
when you just wanted to feel real

she made you feel real
you almost forgot what this was like

you haven't seen her in a long time
you'll never have the chance to any more

(you never went to church as a kid
not even for school
you never had a chance to believe in god
but you never really wanted to either
it didn't matter to you
it never did

you think maybe things would be different now
but deep down you know you're wrong

there's no point believing in something if the only reason is selfish)

but still you miss her
you miss the way her hand felt in yours
you miss the way she smiled
you miss the smell of her shampoo

you find your way back to your apartment
the one you shared with her
the sun is rising now
you can see it over the rooftops as you find your way back through the twisting streets

you can't hear the birds right now
or feel the lazy chill of the morning air
but one day you will
you are sure
--

depression is a strange thing
and so are the friends i have found in dp/dr
they've ruined me, but i can't seem to let them go.
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:iconscr1b3:
Scr1b3 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:heart:
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:iconkittysib:
KittySib Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2012
Fascinating!:D
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:iconrebelpandafish:
RebelPandaFish Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Aw, thank you! :D
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:iconkittysib:
KittySib Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2012
:D
Reply
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